


The Price Is (Not) Right

by Yusariis



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: CisGrey, Felix/Expensive cars, Grey-Is-Control!Fic, Inbox prompt, Non-Binary Felix, Other, Pre-s12 finale, Trapped-In-An-Elevator-After-A-Fight!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2014-09-18
Packaged: 2018-02-17 20:20:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2322011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yusariis/pseuds/Yusariis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aren't situations where you're trapped in an elevator supposed to help open couples up? Isn't someone supposed to apologize for being completely in the wrong?<br/>Someone who is not Felix?<br/>(Teeny-tiny fic)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Price Is (Not) Right

**Author's Note:**

> As prompted by prince-everhard on tumblr.

Felix slumps against the broken doors, eyes flitting up to the Indian/English woman across the broken elevator, poking at the screen of her phone. Emily hums to herself, cooing at a cheerful blip of points awarded, as she pointedly ignores the remnants of their fight - namely, Felix, Felix’s boots, ruined by stiletto heels stomping promptly into the toe, the broken elevator button pad complete with a fist-sized dent, and the ripped receipt on the floor for the very expensive sports car Felix has been financially flirting with for months behind Emily’s back.

Fine, she’s mad about the car, it’s pricey and pretty and perfect but she’s mad, sure, whatever, but there’s no reason to take it out on a pair of $90 boots. Especially not while Felix is wearing them. 

"….So," Felix starts, drumming painted nails against cold metal. "Nnnnothing?" Tense. Expectant. "Nothing at all?" Wonders when the magic of small-talk is gunna kick in so she realizes she was wrong to poke holes in designer boots. Pending Lamborghini purchase be damned, these are out of stock.

"I just got first place on leader boards for Online Yahtzee~" Emily sings with her usual bounce and flair. The trained ear, however, after much time with Emily Grey, will note the curtness in her tone.

 _Don’t talk to me_ , Felix can hear under her dulcet quip, Y _ou’re still a creep._

"….These were expensive." 

"So’s my phone." She replies more quickly this time, waving the cheap piece of tech in the air. "And so’s my bag." Holds up said bag, some brand-name second-hand piece of trash that Felix had to- "And so’s that  _overpriced, glorified hot-rod_ _you’re not going to buy_.”

"Emily, please," Felix interrupts, "Jealousy’s more expensive than any car." Jealousy pokes holes in expensive shoes. And breaks cars. And windows. Or worse, windows of cars. Or worst of all, the entire car. The entire  _expensive_  car.The expensive car involving a couple hundred doses of horse power, sleek chaise, a few million dollars and a steel-black color with a neon-orange trim.

God, even thinking abut it is hot.

"And~," She smiles, "So’s the  _other_  car you splurged on just two years ago~.” Her teeth  grit together in a toothy, terrifying smile. “Which one cost more, the red one or the white one? They’re both  _such pretty cars_  in the garage, Felix~”

"You wouldn’t." And the second Felix says it, the wrongness of it all settles in alongside the sudden pit of terror swelling inside. Emily doesn’t answer. Just looks up and smiles once more and puts her phone into her purse.

"Well," She crosses her ankles, folds her arms, looks at Felix and smiles as sweetly as she can manage while looking absolutely terrifying. "The best reason to get a car is when you lose one, right?"

Felix really shouldn’t be allowing this shit. Felix should be getting a lawyer on standby and threatening her to  _just fucking try it._

Felix isn’t doing that because Control has Control at all times and if Control wants to break the damn car, then Control will fuck it into pieces and ship it back to production line like it’s an assembly kit. And that is more tragic and painful than any revenge Felix could try to exact.

"…Y’know, I…" Felix swallows a large pump of pride, feels it palm at the sides on it’s way down. "I….I don’t  _need_  another car.” Felix says as quickly as possible and can’t help but chuckle nervously as Emily’s eyes scan for shot nerves. “I mean…what’s the difference, right? A car is a car.” Regardless of design or brand or personality.

The mood immediately shifts.

"Really~?" She smiles, warm and gentle, walking towards the doors of the broken elevator and Felix instinctively leans closer against them, as if they’ll open up from the pressure and allow the abyss of the elevator shaft can do Emily’s job for her with less horror or pain. "You really mean that? I know that car meant a lot to you, it’s such a big  _sacrifice~”_

"Hey, two’s company," Felix shrugs, grins, and damns whatever cruel twist of fate would allow a thrill of shivers to pass through her lips when they meet Felix’s cheek. "Three’s a crowd."

"Oh, Felix~" She cooes, pushing up again for another kiss. Their lips press together gently, lipstick blending into lipstick, as the pairs smooth and slide against each other and Felix knows the right choice was made.

The Mazda and the Koenigsegg will have to do without the promised sister. Ah, well.


End file.
